Neurodiverse relationships deserve support.

We’re here to help!

Are you:

  • later-in-life diagnosed with ADHD, Autism, OCD, CPTSD, and/or AuDHD and need help understanding what that now means for you and your relationship?

  • frustrated that you have the same arguments over and over again with your partner about “simple and basic things” like remembering to get groceries, do laundry, organize paper piles, or consistently complete household care tasks?

  • receiving treatment for ADHD individually and want to have a supportive space with your partner to talk about how the condition impacts each of you and create realistic strategies that work for your family?

  • aware of how ADHD and/or Autism impacts your relationship, but don’t know how to talk about it with your partner because it can feel like you’re speaking different languages?

  • curious if you have ADHD, Autism, OCD, CPTSD, and/or AuDHD and need help figuring out what next steps to take or what that might mean for you and your relationship?

If you answered yes to any or all of these, you are not alone! We can help!

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It’s normal for individuals and couples to need support in neurodiverse relationships. At Tend Therapy and Coaching, we specialize in working with neurodiversity and are glad you’re here!

We know that neurodiverse relationships present unique strengths and challenges for a couple to navigate. We value and appreciate that we have unique brain and body wiring that can be informed and impacted by our genetics and life experiences. Together we work with you and your partner to better talk about these differences with honesty, curiousity, and care.

Our approach combines our expertise as an ADHD Clinical Services Provider with our training in Emotionally Focused Therapy, an evidence-based model of therapy that is proven to help decrease conflict, improve communication, and increase secure bond & connection.

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How does couples therapy for neurodiverse relationships work?

We have a roadmap that is proven to support couples to increase connection, improve communication, and feel more like a team!

Step 1: We get to know you and your unique relationship.

We talk about:

  • goals for therapy,

  • fears and hopes for the process together,

  • your personal life histories and family backgrounds,

  • mental health conditions (including prior and/or current diagnosis, assessments, characteristics, and treatments),

  • and where you currently get stuck in the relationship.

We build a safe and trusting therapy relationship and space for both partners to feel heard and held.

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Step 2: We organize your negative distress cycle and better understand what each partner needs.

It’s normal for relationships to have a negative cycle where we get stuck and feel further apart even when we might be trying to come closer together. During therapy sessions, we work together to organize, understand, and make sense of your relationship tendencies. We look at what happens within each of you and between the two of you.

We help slow down the arguments so that each partner is better understood. We work together to identify the symptoms/characteristics of ADHD, Autism, OCD, CPTSD and/or AuDHD that show up and how those may impact your cycle tendencies.

We also help with finding and accessing individual resources like ADHD Coaching, Occupational Therapy, Executive Functioning Coaching, Psychiatrists, Support Groups, etc. if/as that may be helpful.

As we work in sessions to make more sense of the cycle, understand neurodiversity, and identify the attachment needs driving the cycle, couples will see their relationship start to improve outside of sessions.

Couples often report that conflicts happen less often and with less intensity. Communication starts to improve. Partners begin to feel less alone and more like a team.

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Step 3: We decrease conflict and increase connection and vulnerability in the relationship.

Now that we have a clearer picture of the cycle tendencies, the unique characteristics of each neurodiverse partner, and their attachment needs, we dive deeper into core challenges in the relationship. At this point, couples are able to stay present and better regulated within themselves and with their partner.

During sessions we support and guide partners to share more vulnerably and receive each other with curiosity and care. Couples feel more heard and make progress with solving problems.

Couples strengthen their bond and are able to better handle challenges from a connected and secure place. Couples now can work better as teammates to incorporate bonding rituals and executive functioning strategies into their daily lives and home.

Couples have a better understanding and appreciation for their differences and how to manage them together.

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Step 4: Couples are now better connected and able to care for their individual and relationship needs.

As couples reach their therapy goals, some couples continue with therapy on a regular basis to nurture their relationship and keep up their communication practices. Other couples may choose to move to an “as needed” cadence with sessions.

Together we celebrate that the couple has invested the time and resources to improve their connection and bond!

Couples often report that not only has their relationship improved, but other areas of their life have as well, including at work, with friends and family, and in community.

Couples are always welcome to reach back out in the future if and when seeking support, needing a relationship “tune up”, or facing a new relationship challenge or milestone.

FAQs

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We’d love to support your relationship!

Interested in working together for Couples Therapy?

Please fill out some info and we will be in touch within 24-48 business hours.